Hearing stories about ghosts (spirits) living in different houses and researching what their story may be that keeps them there is fascinating. I’ve had experiences of my own so I can relate. Yet the many tales of messages coming from loved ones that tickle me most. Maybe that’s because so many people have had that experience and never think to refer to it as a message from a spirit on the other side.
I know of one person in particular that didn’t go to work at the Twin Towers in NYC on 9/11. “Just an inkling,” he said. “Not really sure why I turned around from the commuter station and went back home. It’s not like we were going to go off to play in the park. I came to see if I could help my wife with her work making chocolates. Nothing that she doesn’t do every day when I’m not here.” I wonder which one of his spirit guides or ancestors whispered in his ear to take that rare day off from work.
He admitted to me, “I never took off from work. I loved the job I did.” His wife stood next to him, her head nodding in agreement. If I had told him someone was in touch with him from the ‘other side’ he probably would have pooh-poohed it. But I’m glad he listened, heard it and paid attention.
Because of my own experience of finally opening that old chest of secrets i carried around, heavy on my back, for half a century, my words to others are “write it down and let it go.” Write about the events in your life that you don’t talk about, that your try to smother and not even think about yourself. Write it down, talking about it isn’t enough. The writing of it, even if you don’t plan to publish or even share it, begins to put a scab on your hurts so they can heal. Write it down.
Add the funny things that may not have been so funny when they happened. They will lighten up your piece and will remind you that it wasn’t all bad. Those little moments that happened kept you from going over the edge. I think our journeys must be planned that way.
Keep in mind that you don’t need anyone’s permission to tell your story the way you saw it happen. It may be a different version than someone else’s but it is the way you saw it that makes it your story. You are not responsible for anyone else’s vision. If you are concerned someone else may be upset at what you are writing about them, they should have behaved better. It isn’t your fault if they behaved badly. Start anywhere. It doesn’t have to be from the beginning. You can always go back in time and add it when you think of it. You can edit your writing later. Just get it out and get it down. It goes much easier once you begin. Remember that the more you write, the easier and better your writing becomes. Your writing will amaze you. You will also see what a wonderful person you are. After all, if it is in print…
A torrent of passion went through me when i first began writing A Nosegay of Violets. It covered events that happened to me that I buried deep inside, never to talk about to anyone. When pen hit paper, actually fingers hit computer keys, a flood resulted. The words and memories burst out of me. I was so caught up in releasing the hurt, anger, and wonder of my journey that i never rewrote the manuscript or had it professionally edited. I just put it out there like shedding an old skin.
I constantly encourage others to write their stories. Especially women who think they have not lived an exciting life. They don’t realize how others are touched by their experiences. Their thoughts and lessons learned in life may easily help another. Or maybe supply entertainment if the case may be. You are the only one who can tell your story as you lived it, giving reasons why you made the decisions you made. Sometimes it’s a relief to tell the secrets you hold close to your chest. Get rid of that heavy load you carry around. Lighten up. None of what you did will bring an end to the world.
Often writing your memoir will help heal old wounds. You come to terms with trauma. Through writing my story, i came to understand my mother as i never saw her before. It changed my whole perception of her and gave me a clearer picture.
Now i offer my A Nosegay of Violets revised edition, rewritten as a past tense narrative and updated it. I let the reader know at the beginning that the title refers to my always being the different one. It’s what i heard all my life and finally found my place in being different. And it was good.